The following article was published in the Greater Wilmington Business Journal on October 14, 2011.

A Little Older, A Lot Wiser

At some point you become 40. At this stage in life, sensible people focus on their own successes, their triumphs, their good fortunes and even their near misses..

For some, however, it can be the time to wallow in the wake of your failures. After all, you're only as good as your last mistake.

It’s easy to place blame on those who let you down, pulled the rug out, took a stick to your knee caps - or even the currently popular "difficult economic situation." Regardless of how it all happened, the blame still comes down to you.

You scream at the mirror, "How did you let this happen? How could you have been so careless?”

And that's when the 'what ifs" really start to roll. You backtrack every decision over and over again in your head. You’re intelligent, hardworking, and well intentioned yet you’ve created enough collateral damage to last a lifetime of careers.

So where exactly did you go wrong?

On an early Saturday morning in spring 2005, you're sitting in an attorney’s oversized conference room negotiating the biggest development deal of your life.

You drive home that afternoon, slapping the steering wheel and singing with the radio, aloud and proud, oblivious to the challenges that lie ahead.

Within a matter of hours the gravity of the project sets in and you press forward in the execution of your flawless plan. You assemble the best team. Your cash flow is strong, so you don't spare a dime. You create impeccable talking points. You anticipate every problem. You actually write down worst case scenarios and delegate a defensive team to deploy preemptive strikes.

You've created a conservative financial pro-forma. Nothing too ambitious, all well within your proven expertise. You devise a seven year plan and you share it with every professional you know. For a moment you allow your shoulders to drop a little when the prevailing sentiments from the pros are consistently the same: "This is a no-brainer my friend!”

Now that you have a plan, you take it to the bank. The local guys love the deal but their nameless credit folks aren't too keen on a $15 million acquisition and development loan - especially one with only a few dollars for the down payment.

"Look at the demand and our track record," you argue. "We can TOTALLY do this."

"No. You need to find an equity partner."

"What kind of an equity partner?"

"One who has a lot more of something you don’t: CASH”

It's the spring of 2006. More than a year has passed and like everything else that comes with time, you’ve formed an emotional attachment to your vision for the project. Your closing date with the seller is pending. You don't want a bunch of partners screwing up your vision, but you start to contemplate the banker’s notion.

Some guys call you back. They've been in town a few years. You've driven by their deals, they seem real and they want to meet. You're flattered.

They tell you how much cash they have available, and that they are practically "oversubscribed" with investors.

And in a matter of minutes you do something previously unthinkable. You've sold a deal you don't even own to some guys you barely know. Turns out it's a perfect marriage too. You get to keep doing what you love (building) and they handle all the stuff you don't love (finance, horizontal development, infrastructure construction, etc.)

It gets better. For that year or so you worked so hard getting to this point, they’re going to give you a mind blowing $3 million dollars AND let you stay on as a 5 percent partner for the inevitable upside.

No matter that the $3 million would be paid later, as soon as the deal was sold out, and after the bank was paid off.

A new LLC is formed. Six great guys including you are embarking on an incredible adventure. Within a few months you're signing some loan docs 'jointly and severally.' The land sellers get their payoff and you practically break your arm patting yourself on the back.

The partners gather with their spouses at a steakhouse near the beach to celebrate their genius. You raise a glass, exhale and breathe easier.

Its fall 2006, and the hard part is out of the way. You're ready to get to work.

Your focus shifts back to marketing mode. It's what you do best. You travel the region looking at the best projects, the coolest buildings and the most talented architects. While dirt is getting pushed around the site, you're anxious to get started on the marina, an elaborate trophy that will have your prospective buyers drooling.

This has become more than a vanity project; this is your professional swan song. Not only will this likely be the last significant endeavor of your career, it will be your legacy.

Then something unexpected happens… something that wasn't on your worst case scenario list. It's the Summer of 2007 and you're notified that all infrastructure work must stop. Despite being at least a year away from the flush of a toilet, and your site abuts an underutilized lift station, a sewer moratorium affects all building projects in the city - even those nowhere near the problem.

Meanwhile, the interest reserve the bank lent you is dwindling, but it's OK, because your 5 percent share of the ominous $50K interest payments is a manageable $2,500 a month. Good thing all you have to do is focus on selling condos and not dealing with the periphery.

About this time you get a call from your old friend at the bank. - "We need to talk".

Interest payments haven’t been getting made, the project has slowed to a crawl, and you’re still at least a year before you can even start your first building.

That’s when you realize the reason you aren't receiving monthly cash calls for your $2500 share of the interest payments - your partners don't ask for your 5 percent share because they can't pay their substantially larger portion.

Despite the stock market’s slow but steady decline from its October 2007 highs, you make a split-second decision to reallocate some of your personal savings to pay off the other partners and get them out of the way. You've gone from being a 5 percent partner in the project to a 95 percent owner. Work begins again on the site and it's only a matter of months before you'll be going vertical.

It's now March 2008. You've invested hundreds of thousands of your own dollars into architectural plans, engineered drawings, and marketing materials. Your excitement to begin construction is overwhelming.

The economy seems to have stalled somewhat but you read an article that the market would rebound by the fourth quarter and you congratulate yourself on your timing. Instead of patting yourself on the back this time, you roll up your sleeves.

You need more momentum. You cut a deal with the city and the RiverWalk gets built. Activity breeds activity you say to yourself. You set your sights on getting that first building started.

Fall of 2008. This time it's not a phone conversation but a meeting at the banks conference room. Your main guy is there and he looks pale. There's another guy in the room. You meet him for the first time, not sure of his role. He's older, from out of town, and he tells you he’s just there to help the bank out. Since you haven't missed an interest payment and the project is progressing (albeit slowly) you really see this as more of a "general update" meeting.

But it's not that kind of meeting. You learn a new word that day from the “out of town” guy. It's called "curtailment". You don't need to ask the meaning, as the one sided conversation carries long enough for you to realize that the lender is no longer going to advance funds from your original loan in order to complete your project.

That's not the bad part. The bad part is when he tells you that falling real estate values and new government mandates require you to transfer a significant amount of your personal brokerage account funds toward your loan principal balance.

Your safety net of available cash is an attractive opportunity for the bank. In an instant your liquid assets have now become a liability for you in this negotiation.

These guys just don’t get it you think to yourself. Fine. You give them what they want because you are going to go out and find a better bank to deal with… one that will appreciate your passion and commitment to this once-in-a-lifetime project.

You'll show them.

The messages you've left with the other banks go unreturned. You've been in this business long enough to know that if they don't call back, they aren't interested.

The stock market is half its peak and continues to decline. It's compounded the stress on your cash cushion because you opted to borrow against your securities instead of selling them into a declining market.

You are running out of cash very quickly. The threats are real, the demand letters grave. Within a few short months you are back in the lenders conference room. This relationship has seen better days. You stay cool but the knot in your stomach is unrelenting.

For the first time in your life you aren't going to be able to pay an interest payment.

You learn another new term, "forbearance agreement." After reviewing it, even your own attorney suggests you retain a lawyer from New Bern, the one that requires a $25K retainer, but you don’t heed the advice because you've convinced yourself that you’re invincible. This project has too much potential; you just need to keep pressing forward.

You sign the forbearance agreement because you believe that all you need is a little more time to find new cash and an improving economy. Certainly things won’t get worse.

You have a rough idea as to the amount of time and money you've put into this project but once you sit down and calculate the actual cash you’ve invested, the cash that you are unlikely to ever see again, the gravity of your situation sets in. Your loss is in the millions (plural).

You stop eating. You stop talking to your wife and you stop talking to your kids. You're always tired but no matter how hard you try you can't sleep and if you do fall asleep you can't stay asleep. Nothing feels good and you are so angry with yourself that you get to the point that you really don't care what happens, you just want it to happen.

You’re not sick of living, but you’re sick of living like this.

It's the spring of 2009. You lock yourself in front of your laptop and generate a manifesto of options for the lender. You create your own workout plan; it reads like a global military operation. You list every available scenario, fifteen in all, and make a recommendation. Who knows this project better than you?

You hand deliver your own set of solutions. And then you hold your breath - for a month.

Some guy from Richmond and his boss from Orlando fly into town. This time they are in your conference room but it's obvious they still hold the leverage. Your plan has merit, but you need to find a buyer or more equity. You owe the bank a lot of money but it appears you are still better off alive than dead to these guys.

For a moment you are grateful. This is the 'time' you needed. With their help you get back to work and finish the site. Within months the marina is filling with boats and the joggers are discovering the RiverWalk. Roads and sidewalks are complete.

Instinctively you shift gears back to 'marketing mode' and begin in earnest to generate the pre-sales you need for that first building. Surprisingly you hit your sales target, your buyers are qualified, and their deposits are in the trust account, you carry your loan request to any lender with a pulse but there are no takers.

You do this for almost a year. Your world is consumed with managing a project with no income and no signs of life. You're losing momentum, faith and confidence. You're reminded of the much maligned BP Executive’s infamous sound bite; you “just want your old life back."

It's the fall of 2010, and you meet the new guy from Raleigh assigned to you by the bank. He's stern, smart and a realist. He's only slightly older than you but his well-honed experience is very specific. Most of his career has been spent on the unattractive “workout” side of the real estate world.

Like a seasoned counselor from hospice - he tells you clearly, "Stop fighting. Your demise is inevitable. Your time and money are lost. It's time to get your affairs in order."

"No. You don't understand. We are so close, we've come so far. This can't be the end."

But it is, and, for the first time in years, you sleep.

Who Says I Don't Look Good in a Fez!?

Dave Spetrino auditions for temporary Moroccan citizenship while in Fez, Maroc.

When (if) I grow up, I want to be a world traveler. Just saying "world traveler" sounds exotic and full of adventure. I want to see the world, every corner. So why not start with Morocco?

My Dad, brother Jon and I wanted to go on a 'guys trip' - no spouses, no kids.

Not that we don't love being with our family but we thought it would be healthy if just the 3 of us went on an adventure and spent some father-sons-brother-time together - you know, for a week or 10 days. This isn't our first 'guys trip' - we spent a long weekend snowmobiling across Yellowstone Park back in the mid-90's. We had a blast and it was great to see a part of America that I hadn't been.

(reminder to future self: 3 days was plenty)

Choosing our next destination was pretty easy, it had to be someplace that wasn't on the top of my wife Kathy's list of places to go. That basically left us to choose from either the North Pole, South Pole or Africa.

Fortunately my father is already a 'full blown' World Traveler. He has been everywhere and when I say "everywhere" I mean it would be easier to tell you where he hasn't been rather than the other way around.

He was the obvious choice to determine not only where we would be going but every detail, arrangement and accommodation. He had every aspect of the trip covered and got us some great deals along the way.

Let me clarify something, this was not a vacation, traveling with my father is not a passive recreation or a time to chill out and unwind but a non-stop adventure to be savored while in constant motion.

With just under 11 days, we had a lot of ground to cover (3 of which would be traveling.)

We flew out of Dulles Thursday evening, through Paris and arrived in Casablanca mid-morning on Friday. Our Moroccan driver (Hamid) and his mini-van were waiting for us as we cleared customs.

Hamid would be our driver for the next 8 days and nights as we traversed the entire country. (in all, we would travel over 2500km).

At each stop Hamid would connect us with a local tour guide (english speaking of course) to show us the highlights of their area. This was a huge benefit of the trip and avoided being "lost in translation" while visiting the various sites and locales.

We spent the afternoon touring Casablanca before heading toward the Capital city of Rabat. We stayed one night in Rabat before heading to Fez via Volubilis (fascinating Roman ruins and the heart of olive country).

While in Fez we spent two nights at a centuries old Riad (think bed and breakfast with an internal open courtyard) situated inside the old city walls.

You know those Indiana Jones movies where they are running through a narrow maze of walls inside the city? Welcome to Fez, pay attention or you will have to follow a donkey or a kid on a moped to find your way out.

Leaving Fez we worked our way across the mid-Atlas Mountains toward the Sahara. Stopping briefly in Efroud (date palm capital of Morocco) in order to swap the mini-van in for a Land Cruiser as we would be heading into the desert for the night to stay at a Kasbah (think walled fort) in the outpost known as Merzouga. (or more commonly known as 'the middle of nowhere') but absolutely fascinating as we climbed the sand dunes at sunset and waited for the full moon to rise over an ocean of sand (as far as you can see in every direction). Surreal.

One night in Merzouga before we traversed what seemed like the entire length of Morocco on our way to a night in Ouarzazate. Any movie you have ever seen that was filmed in a desert was probably based in Ouarzazate - the Hollywood of Africa.

We left Ouarzazate and crossed the High Atlas to Marrakech for two nights. Probably my favorite city (Fez would be my second). Not because Marrakech had the absolute best ice cream but it felt the most European. Easy to get around, unbelievable restaurants, history but a more polished vibe compared to the rest of the country.

Morocco was controlled by the French for the first part of the 20th Century and is the secondary language for its citizens. About a 3 hour flight from Paris, this is a hot spot destination and second home mecca for much of France.

After leaving Marrakech we headed toward the Atlantic Ocean (Essaouira) and worked our way up the Barbary Coast for our last night in Casablanca before flying out the next morning.

Obviously this is an abbreviated version or an extremely eventful and exciting tour of the country. Jon posted all of his photos here.

Keep checking back for more specific experiences from our adventure (like what a picky eater like me eats on a trip like this and why I wouldn't make a good muslim!)

Big Things from Steven Little!

Steve Little spoke to his Wilmington neighbors at UNCW's Lumina Theater on August 30th

I was fortunate enough to glance through the Chamber of Commerce's e-newsletter to learn an internationally acclaimed consultant, author and business speaker would be coming to Wilmington.

Steven S Little would be discussing a topic from one of his more popular books, "The Milkshake Moment: Overcoming Stupid Systems, Pointless Policies and Muddled Management to Realize Real Growth."

The topic didn't resonate with me as a 'must hear' and even though the event was free - I was more intrigued by its sponsor, New Hanover County (?).

I am continually impressed, more recently than ever, by the progressive approach toward our regions future and subsequent growth by some of our leaders, both elected and appointed.

At the forefront, County Manager Bruce Shell, has been going above and beyond the call of duty over the past year to find ways to help our business owners and local economy by leveraging the resources he has at his disposal.

The idea of bringing a major speaker with a wealth of knowledge along with a vast array of experiences and perspectives to our area was indeed another opportunity for our community to benefit.

The event was scheduled for 9am on a Monday morning. My immediate thought, "Well Bruce sure is doing a good job of minding the budget - that's a tough time slot, he must've gotten a sweet deal!"

The speaker's name sounded 'kind of' familiar - as did the name of his book - so after a bit of research on his website I vaguely recalled reading about his 'Milkshake Moment' but couldn't place much else.

Besides free is free. I could always sit near a door and leave early if the guy got too boring.

I enter the lobby and begin to scan the landscape. Unlike most 'business things' where it seems I know most everyone, I only recognize a handful of people - mainly City and County employees and some UNCW staff.

As I enter the theater we are lined up and required (not encouraged, required) to completely fill each row and each seat. No opportunity for a dark corner next to the door where I can return emails from my blackberry either.

I sit down, get my bearings, look around the auditorium. The crowd is substantially different from what I expected. Lots of government employees and managers. (You can tell by their ID badges and appropriate haircuts). I could hear some grumbling among the ranks, I may have volunteered to attend but some of these folks did not.

Uh oh, 9am, Monday morning, this could be a tough crowd. I don't even know the speaker but I am already getting nervous for the guy - this is going to be a hard show and I am wedged in the middle of the row, if things start to go bad and I have to make a run for it, climbing over 20 people is not going to be easy.

Within a few minutes a recognizable County employee walks up and instead of introducing our speaker, he announces a 'warm up act' - a comedian no less!

A warm up act? Seriously? I look over my shoulder and see Bruce Shell and kind of nod my head hello. He's grinning ear-to-ear - (like a lemming headed for a cliff.) He must be delirious I think to myself.

9am on a Monday morning and now I am scared for a comedian I don't know and a speaker I've barely heard of and, more disconcerting, our esteemed County Manager (because he is going to get a bunch of grief for thinking outside the box if this thing doesn't go well) - empathy or sympathy, I'm not really sure which, but I can't see how this ends well for anyone involved.

The comedian walks toward the front of the room and all I can think is, "this guy must be nuts, I wonder how much you get paid to do a gig like this?" - but within a few moments he starts really rolling with the business jokes, economy jokes, travel jokes, audience participation, everything.

The crowd is roaring and this guy is "killing it!" I start to cautiously breathe a bit thinking that maybe this WAS a good idea after all.

Next up, the main event. Our warm up comedian rings him in like there's rockstar in the house: Steven S Little!

As our speaker bounces toward the front of the room, I ask myself two questions, "I wonder if that's his real name?" and "how much does a guy get paid to do a gig like this?"

He looks sharp. He's got a wireless microphone on his tie. He's polished, smiling and he's thinking, "9am, Monday morning, room full of government workers, good thing I brought the warm-up act."

On the big screen is an image of a clip-art vanilla milkshake and immediately Mr. Little launches into a story I know he has told a thousand times - but no matter, I am mesmerized. If this man was selling Amway he would have had me at "hello."

The guy was terrific. He was entertaining, informative, engaging - I could actually feel myself getting smarter as he spoke. He talked about perspectives and changes. Growth and leadership. Opportunities and threats.

He gave some great real world examples of the way businesses train and manage people without fully thinking through the relation to their customers. Not just customer service, but are businesses providing their teams with the tools and systems as well as the ability, or rather, permission to adapt to the needs of their clients? This was good stuff.

Steve did a great job of winning over the audience and maintaining their attention for more than two hours. Did I mention this guy was terrific?

Then, out of nowhere, he starts talking about Wilmington - like he lives here or something, and then a few seconds later he says, "I've lived here in Wilmington for over 15 years"

"What the...?"

Is he serious? We have a prophet in our midst and I am just now finding out about this? I didn't know if I should be grateful or ticked!

No matter, I was hooked. I wanted to hear his thoughts about our area. I wanted to know what he thought our community could be doing better. I wanted him to tell us more about the other cities he was working with and how we could avoid some of their same mistakes.

Steven S. Little did not disappoint and my confidence in our leaders, neighbors and the opportunities for success within our region have never been greater...

YOTD: The Countdown Continues...

That is correct party people. We are less than 45 days away from the most happening event of the decade. If you don't know what I am talking about, click here first to get up to speed on the 2010: Year of the Dave extravaganza...

Here is an update and quick reminder of the rules:

1. The party is on Sunday, October 10th at #10 Church Street (Downtown.) The band will crank up around 5pm.

2. Yes you are invited - and so are your spouses and kids. Also, any friend of yours is probably a friend of mine so feel free to bring them too. Don't look for a 'formal' invitation - maybe an e-vite but that's about it.

3. Rain or shine, the City is closing the street and we've got a massive tent.

4. For those of you who keep asking me, there is no dress code - this is a fun, casual event but you will look even cooler than you usually do if you are wearing something blue.

5. NO GIFTS - I'm serious. Your friendship and attendance is all I ask.

6. If you don't want to show up empty handed, I understand. Bring something with a 10 on it and we can add it to the rest of the 10's that I have accumulated.

7. No, I wasn't kidding about the food being only things I like to eat - but I'm sure we'll have something for you. I know some of you are bringing an appetizer dish or dessert, that's OK too.

8. Yes, live music into the evening. No, I wasn't able to book Dave Matthews, Bruce Hornsby or Rick Springfield, but don't worry, I am going to find a great local band that can at least cover a couple of these guys greatest hits.

9. Parking? Always plentiful Downtown, you may have to walk a block or two but there will be plenty of spaces along the street.

10. Most importantly, this isn't a party about me, it's a party about us. Come over, have a great time, stay as long (or as short) as you like. Enjoy yourself, make some new friends and allow me to share a little bit more of the "Year of the Dave" with you.

See you soon!

The Famous "One Touch" Office Organization System

Dave Spetrino: Hard at work among the chaos

I got a call Sunday night from one of my very best friends who is also a small business owner, we'll call him Andy Jumbercotta (because that's his name).

No pleasantries, just a desperate request, "Hey, what's that "one" thing you do when your office gets out of control and you've got to get organized before you totally lose it?"

Like every other small business owner I know right now; money is tight, time is short, and we are all working twice as hard with little or no support to back us up.

Andy is no different. His home office (which shares space with his wife's sewing machine and his kids Lego structures) is filled with piles of paperwork which may or may not contain a desk beneath. He's typically on a jobsite all day and unless it deals directly with invoicing or collecting, the paperwork, filing and forms get stacked (or shoved) to the side.

"Exactly how much is on your desk?" I ask

"Well it's only four stacks, but each one is at least 12 inches high - so about 4 feet of papers I guess - I don't even know where to start..."

Believe me, I am no organizational maestro, but, if I've learned anything in my decades of procrastination, I know how to quickly deal with things I don't want to deal with in a responsible and efficient manner.

It's obvious Andy is also procrastinating but this is important and what he really needs is a little motivation as well as a quick refresher course on the famous "One Touch" system that I mastered during my early entrepreneur days at Radford University.

The One Touch System sounds simple - and it can be - but once you start touching, you can't stop until you are completely done.

Step One: Assemble everything on your desk into one large pile.

Step Two: Pick up the piece of paper on top.

Step Three: Do not put it down until you have dealt* with it.

* Dealt is a verb and can mean anything from filling it out, mailing it in, delegating it along or throwing it away.

Step Four: Repeat Steps Two and Three.

This only works if you follow these rules to the "T" (I don't really know what "to-the-T" means but it doesn't matter) under no circumstances can you pick up something from the top that you REALLY don't want to "deal" with and move it to the side. Once you've touched it, that should be for the last time. No exceptions.

I know what you are thinking, "There's not enough time.... I could be 'one touching' for days!"

And my reply: "Well, you should have thought about that before you let this desk get out of control, now get back in there and get to work."

But seriously, this process is something that you can do relatively quickly once you sit down and start one-touching. More often than not, the majority of the papers are no longer relevant and in many cases, half the stack ends up directly in the recycle bin.

I typically partake in my own "One Touch" about once a month. It's usually when I can't find an important piece of paper that I know I didn't throw away. Early mornings, first thing, with no interruptions, I can jam through a 3 to 4 inch stack in less than an hour.

Twice a year I set aside an entire Saturday morning or a Sunday afternoon for the really heavy-duty paperwork (tax prep, closed job books and year end documents that need to be scanned to the server) I get my i-tunes going and one touch my way to organizational bliss...if even only temporarily...

Wild West Roadtrip - June 2010

We just got back from our family vacation. While not as intense as our 3,000 mile road trip to Niagra Falls in July 2009, it was an awesome time and great adventure with our kids.

We flew from Wilmington to Phoenix where we met up with my Mom and her boyfriend Don who drove their minivan from their home in Laguna Beach, CA to join us. Check out our highlights:

• Toured the winter home of Frank Lloyd Wright, Taliesin West, Scottsdale
• Stopped by Montezuma's Castle on our way to Sedona
• One night in Sedona which included a 'Pink Jeep' tour within the Broken Arrow Park
• Stopped into the interesting and very 'happening' town of Jerome which included a Ghost Town and 'gold mine'.
• Grand Canyon for the night, enjoyed an incredible sunset along the South Rim
• Hoover Dam
• Las Vega$ for three nights, not much gambling but did tour two cool high-rise condo projects looking for new ideas (Vdara and Veer at the new City Center)
• Visited the real "Pawn Stars" from the History Channel (the boys were a little underwhelmed, they thought it would be cooler/ bigger in real life)
• Grandma Cheryl's house in Laguna Beach (beautiful and 72 degrees, no humidity, all sunshine - everyday)
• The Rainbow Sandals HQ in San Clemente
• Father's Day boat cruise along the coast (originally intended to be a 'history tour' but became a whale watching tour after a 100+ school of common dolphins and a large blue whale made an appearance)
• The Getty Museum in Los Angeles
• 3rd Street Promenade and Pier in Santa Monica
• Finally, the happiest place on earth: Disneyland (for Kat's birthday, she's so lucky!)

We had a great time. Without a doubt the Grand Canyon is one of those places that you can't describe and you'll never forget.

Lessons Learned: Options exist, communication is key.

The following is an article published by the Greater Wilmington Business Journal on June 11th:

Our company is in the construction and real estate business but that’s the least of my worries right now; I am also dealing with 14 different local banks.

Each bank has its own set of challenges, FDIC mandates, balance sheet issues or management and decision-making structure. For years I assumed that my traditional lending sources would always want to do business with me, however, times have changed and in the process I’ve learned a few things along the way.

I share the following in the event you too are surviving the storm only to be faced with cleaning up the financial aftermath within your own business and banking relationships.

1. Rate reductions and interest only. Asking for a concession with your existing loans or during a renewal is not easy but it can be a lifesaver (or at a minimum, a life-extender). If you can honestly prove that you need the relief, don’t take no for an answer. Unfortunately, unless you have been paying late (or not at all) it’s hard to get their attention. Begging helps. Be persistent, realistic and focus on the big picture – reducing your cash outflow by whatever means possible.

2. Share your plan. It’s natural to want to be viewed in a healthy, positive manner – but you’re not fooling anyone. Your better approach may be to share your “work plan” with your lender so they see how you are effectively managing your problems (along with your cashflow). It shouldn’t be a surprise when they ask more questions about your loans with other banks over their own. (Your lender is more afraid of the stuff they can’t see.) Prepare accordingly and update your plan often.

3. As my dear friend Warren Buffett once told me, “You can always tell them to go to Hell tomorrow.” At some point, some guy you’ve never met is going to call and demand something completely irrational. He will ask ridiculous questions like “why don’t you just refinance our loan with another bank?” or worse, he’ll recommend you liquidate your kids college account so you can make an “equity contribution toward your loan balance” (because their new appraisal shows a decline in the value of your rental property even though you’ve never been late on a loan payment in the 3 years you’ve owned it).

Resist the temptation to tell them how you really feel about their request and instead focus on viable solutions. Suggest they use the tax value of the property as their valuation; ask if they can provide a lower rate allowing you to apply the interest savings toward a monthly principal pay down.

Fortunately banks have become more creative and better problem solvers than they were in the winter of ’09. Sensible lenders know how to make a deal work if they have a borrower willing to do the same.

4. The value of private resources. Early in my career the risk of losing someone else’s money would have levied too much guilt, later, the value of giving someone a percentage of a project or a significant return for their cash appeared unwarranted. With a stable track record and a large pool of capable lenders I neglected to create private funding relationships or equity partnerships. In light of the past two years, my perception has changed dramatically.

5. It takes money to borrow money. We have been one of the few fortunate companies to receive construction and real estate loans over the past 12 months. It hasn’t been easy but I make sure our requests are so solid they can’t be ignored. I’ve also learned to provide a good exit strategy (or three) for my lender as she needs all the ammunition she can get for her credit guy (who hates everything – especially real estate.)

Not only am I borrowing at a lower loan-to-value than in the past, I am likely bringing a year or two of interest carry to the bank in the form of a secured CD. Cash is so hard to come by that it’s painful to watch $25,000 earn 1% but the alternative would have some of our smaller, more worthy projects sitting idle right now.

6. Communicate often and maintain relationships. Every other month I take the time to hand deliver our loan payments. I go inside the local branch office, smile, say hello and remind my bankers that I’m still alive. Most of the time the lender is not only available to speak but appears to be glad to have some company!

We talk about what we are seeing “out there”, we vent to each other and quite often I feel better about our local future and my own personal circumstances. Most importantly we get the opportunity to catch up, after all, these folks are also my friends who are dealing with their own set of challenges and I can certainly empathize.

Let’s face it, banks will need to start lending again and competition among lenders will re-emerge. Real estate loans are the current sore thumb but in a growing market like Wilmington, it will return to a highly profitable line of business for most banks.

Things are going to get better but they are also going to be different, so pay attention, ask questions, share information and adapt accordingly. Look on the bright side; you’re already getting smarter – you’re learning from the experience of others…

Dave Spetrino is the President of Plantation Building Corp. He’s been signing the front of paychecks for 20 years and looks for every opportunity to help other business owners succeed. It should be noted that Warren Buffett isn’t aware that he is a dear friend of Dave Spetrino’s.